"Naked"...

Long time nv write in blog... I think thats mean I am passing my time normally without any special happenings... Just thought of something today...

While I was walking towards the train station, i passed by Dreamcatcher's house... I was kinda worried that I would meet her... Cos the previous letter I have sent her is about me telling her everything I feel... I would feel embarrassed since letting her know everything actually exposes me "nakedly"... Though i hope to see her and give her a smile but... Dunno whether i can do it or not...

Finally understand why she cant be friends with me anymore... She had wrote everything about her feelings to me in that letter which made her feel awkward to see me again... Just the same feeling that i have...

Well... I finally understand... Wont blame her if she still treat me like a stranger when we meet...

Letter of the Day!!!

Sent Dreamcatcher an apology letter. Can't imagine her expression when she received it. =p Maybe no expression at all... Tossed it into the dustbin at the sight of my handwriting (probably she will remember how my handwriting looks like)

Told her in the letter that I dun wan to have any reply or any answer... Just hope that if we are fated to meet again, she will acknowledge when i smile to her. Thats all...

Good luck to me...

Farewell Friend

Just finished seeing a friend off from the airport... She was going to Beijing to undergo training for one year. Subsequently, she will be working there for another two years... What a career woman... Alone in a different country... Her boyfriend was also at the airport and he looked  quite sad...

Known this friend. Huiyi, as my chinese orchestra (CO) senior... when I first entered Anderson Junior College (AJC), I knew no one from the CO... It was all these ultra friendly seniors who made me feel so at home in AJ... All these years, my closest friends are all from Chinese Orchestra... Even my dearest girlfriend, Xiuhua, is from AJCO... She was my senior too... =) Times flies and I am still close with many of them but as these friends started working, its hard to get everyone together again... =p Well well... Thats the purpose of our CO... Try to get all my friends back... Hee...

 

Anyway, happy birthday to dreamcatcher... Cant say it to her so i just say to myself... Sigh. =(...

Dreamt of Dreamcatcher (A friend who will nv forgive me)

I just woke up... and I was hoping I ll never wake up from that dream... Have not even brush my teeth, I rushed to the computer and started typing in this blog... Trying to recap the  sweetest part of the dream...

Her nick is dreamcatcher...

This dream took place in a school (Cos everyone else was wearing uniform)... I just finished class or should i say, i just finished my last day in that school... As i was trying to get out of school that was packed with other students, I saw her... Smiling to me... Trying hard to smile to me... I can't believe what I've just saw so I ignored her and increase my pace... (Cos i was so ashamed to see her again... I had made her sad so I dun think she's smiling to me...) However, in the end, I still turned back... This time I am sure she was smiling... I smiled back.. I gave her the most sincere smile i can give... and the most apologetic one.... Her fren (whom i dunno in real life) said something to her and then to me... "He is a nice guy in school....." blah blah blah... She's teasing me but i know that she's trying to make her forgive me... Thanks to that stranger friend... I was so happy... cos she is smiling to me... But she never said a word to me...

That night, i remembered me dressed myself as a pizza deliveryman (haha... It was just so normal when i was dreaming... but now... i think its absurb!!) trying to get past the security of her condominium (in real life she dun live there)... I do not know her exact apartment no., so I tried looking into windows of different apartments and even entering some of them thru the ajarred doors... Just to look for her... Reason for doing all this: to be sure that she has forgiven me (I was hoping she tell me personally that she has)

From the top storey of the building to the bottom... I cant find her... Fianlly, in the ground floor... I saw her finally... with her friend again... "There... I tell you he will come looking for you tonight!!!" The friend said... Dream catcher smiled again... I smiled back... She told me actually she saw me desperately looking for her... I can feel that she was touched by what I did... Finally the dream ended with dreamcatcher, the friend and a few other friends going off for a movie... The last words i heard was from her friend... "Since 3 of us have birthdays that lies within a week, we should cherish this friendship..."(which is not true!!!) Dreamcatcher has finally forgiven me... (Thats actually not true also when I woke up)

No... She hasn't... I woke up and it was all a dream... Thats the nicest dream i had and the most cruel one... One moment of joy and another moment of emptiness... everything was just a dream... Just a dream... Just a dream... Just a dream... =(

Friends = Passersby of Life???

Received the letter I was talking about in the previous blog... Its a card actually with quite a lot of stuff written on it... Her name, if translated into English, is called Autumn Sparrow... =)

This is what I've wrote to her... I was thinking of asking a lot of my ex-close friends out for a gathering... However, I am afraid that I would be disappointed if I can't find back the same old feeling that we used to have... Time passes and people change I guess... So what if i manage to get everyone out but in the end, we got nothing to talk about... =p

In response, this is what she wrote in the letter (I try to translate wat she wrote in Chinese to English)...

As time goes by, we grow and our lifestyle changes... Topics that we once chatted about isn't the same anymore and environment that we are exposed to are different. Hence, its unavoidable for friends to drift further apart... We can never find back the old feelings that we all used to have... Or maybe we shall never try to look for those feelings... Its better to leave them as good, old memories and try to create new memories... She added "No news can actually means good news"... (U shd understand what it means... Just in case u dun, it means ur friends are most probably having peaceful and normal life... Hence no news of them...)

Finally, she ended with "I've learned ---- that we don't have to change friends, if we understand that friends change..."

After finished reading the letter, i feel kinda sour... =p Are friends just passersby of life? Old friends will drift apart while new friends come... And this cycle will just go on and on and on................ I hope not... Or i will be very sad...

Snail Mail Vs Email

Though almost everyone has accessed to internet and hence, email, I always prefer receiving "snail mail" rather than email... Waiting for one from a really nice friend now... Hope it will reach my letter box soon. =)

Writing in a letter takes a lot more effort than to type out an email. When you wrote something wrong, you can't just press on the the "delete" or "backspace" key from the keyboard... Many of the times, one will need to rewrite the entire letter again if only some parts of it is found unsatisfactory... I remember that in tv programmes and movies, you can always see a waste paper basket beside the person writing a letter and pieces of crushed paper on the floor. Thats the pain of sending snail mail or should i say, that reflects the effort put in when writing a letter...

As I grew older and got busier, I seldom see greeting cards and letters in my letter box. What a pity... Well, people ard me are getting busier too... Internet has made everything easier by creating e-cards, emails and e-"everything".  I guess people just spent so much time in front of their computer and therefore, everything else is created to make accessible thru the internet. On thing to add... I hate e-cards (not the sender. =p) cos you will realise that most of them will self-delete after around 2 weeks... Tsk...

Can't blame the internet or any of my friends... Maybe its I who never put in much effort in keeping friendships... That might just explain the receding numbers of cards and letters in my letter box... Miss the feeling of reading from real, hard copy letter... =p

Guys out there... If you are sincere in going after a girl... Dun send e-cards or emails to her... Always send "hard copy" thru snail mail... =p

Both Hands in my Pockets!

Oh no... I am having a slight fever now... Feeling really sleepy... Great! Finally, i can sleep early... Think its the slight sore throat that i got this morning + the stupid icy cold air conditioning in "K-Box" ktv...
 
Really cant stand cold... Prefer hot... Best is warm... I dun sleep with any fan or air condition switched on... =p
 
As i walk, i would put my hands in my pockets to feel the warmth... Most of the time, i dun leave home without a bag... With a bag behind me, at least i dun feel empty... I carry a bag and put hands in my pockets especially so when I am travelling alone... At least i can have a bag for company and my pockets to "hold" my hands... Ha... Think i have got so used to putting hands in pocket that i forgotten how to walk swaying my hands... Sigh...
 
So whats the conclusion?!! I hate cold becos cold give me a sense of loneliness... =p

Impressed!!

Being following a blog titled "Living in Egypt". So impressed by how the writer describe Egypt. Its so alive... Think only when a person feel realli much for a place can write in this manner. =p
 
Maybe i gotta try describing Singapore in my future blogs. Not easy though... Not becos there is nothing nice about my dear country but its just my English Standard is too low... Hee... well, hope that writing in blogs can improve my English...
 
So long everyone, anyone. =p

Live Our Life to the Max!!!

Just got a new pair of specs for myself... Feeling realli giddy... Maybe still not use to it... Dunno whether the optician gave me the correct lenses... =p Well, he told me that its normal to feel giddy... I hope so... But izzit normal for my eyesight to improve even after staring at my monitor for hours daily and watching tv at a distance less than 3 m? Ha... The optician told me that the degree for both my eyes drop more than 50... Suprising?
 
No! My case explains why many health-conscious people die earlier than those super damn heavy smokers. U might be spending all ur life trying to eat green, slimy vegetables and exercise regularly... while one day, walking down the street, u might get hit by a car... (and u realise u have missed all the delicious but so-called unhealthy food before u breath ur last grasp of air...) Oops... I am not cursing anyone... I am just stating a fact... =p
 
Live life to the max while u can... =)

A Night or A Sunday Morning??

Hi hi... Its so late and i am still awake... thats me.... Sigh... Though i know that staying up late is realli bad for health, i just cant kick the habit... I always enjoy doing stuff at night since i can concentrate better. However, the next day, i will have to try hard to keep awake during lecture and tutorials.
 
The night is always so peaceful and quiet (except for the bubbling sound coming from my water pump... =p) With a table lamp as the only source of light (plus a bit of moon light =p), there is always this sense of tranquility... Somehow, I tend to be more emotional at this period of time. More emotional means less practical, i guess. It wont be appropriate for me to make any serious decision at this point of time... From my past experience, i always regretted on decision made when the sky is dark... well well... Guess i have a bit of split personality... =p...
 
Think i am surrounded by nocturnal friends. One particular fren is our dear Bernadette... haha... She kept mumbling that staying up late is unhealthy and bad for complexion and she is also the one waiting for the sun to rise be4 she sleep... =p (Maybe i have exaggerated... Sorry my fren...)
 
What is exactly the night? Anytime when the sky is dark? Or the night ends be4 12 midnight? So why do we still say "good night" when its already the day, i mean when the watch is stated xxx a.m (Past midnight)... Should we say good morning instead? Or shd we say "its veri late at night" or "its veri early in the morning"? Hmmm.... haha... I am thinking about useless stuff again... =p
 
Enough of crap... Wish everyone a good night/good morning... whatever...

My 1st Comment By An Unknown Friend

Hmmm... Just receive a comment for my blog by Amanda... Someone whom i dunno... But by posting just 9 words under my blog really gives me a nice feeling. Does any other bloggers have such similar feeling?
 
At the end of the day, when u enter ur username and password to the blogger.com, would you be wondering whether anyone post a comment on ur blog? Well, i do... hope I would get a surprise with just a nice, little comment posted there. Haha... Maybe thats the joy of blogging... =p
 
Gonna be weekend tml... but that does not matter to me cos i am having a holiday now... However, its ending soon. Looking forward to study life again. Miss those stressful feelings. I guess when school starts, i will miss holiday instead. This is always the case for everyone... I think...
 
 

Upload Successful... =)

 
I am just trying to upload a photo... Hee... No special meaning... except that this bear was a present for my girlfriend... Cute? =p

Understood Something...

They are always things that one will wan to share with people but not with the ones they know. Thats why people write in blogs, rite? I guess so... Its about the same as teens are more willing to share their thoughts with frens rather than parents. Privacy??? Who cares!!! As long as nobody knows who u are...

Have lotsa things to think abt 2nite! Won't be sleeping early again... Problems are meant to be solved rite? So problems wont be problems for long, i guess (I hope)?!!...

Planning of Modules for Next Semester

Finally, NUS has updated the modules available next semester. Just finished planning the modules to be taken and hope i can do even better in my grades. Good luck to myself... Hee... =p

MY AIM : CAP 4.0

Its real late or should I say real early in the morning...=p Time for bed...

Just a Thought

I am always sorry for what I've done and what I've not done... Unfortunately, what is done cannot be undone... But luckily, what is undone can still be done... =)

Lost at words

Well well... 1st time writing a blog... Got lost at words... But at least i must write something for a start... I wonder how people managed to share their private feelings thru blogs... Don't they feel insecure? Hmmmm.... Maybe if i continue the habit of writing here, i might understand why people are willing to share their feelings online...

Feel free to put comments on my msges... =)